Soulwindows of Hyperion

All glory be to Jesus. My name is Scotland. I am 20 years old.

From Fire to Blood

The flames are extinguished. I feel like there is no fuel left. The burning inferno that was the passion in my soul for creating beautiful sounds is nothing more than wisps of smoke now.
Every time I touch an instrument now, heartache takes on a physical presence, and shapes itself into a piano, or a violin, or a viola. Memories of places and pieces of who I am from years gone by….long years of practice and toil and frustration coming from the same passage played hundreds of times for hours…molding into a grandious performance of black-clad teenagers impressing all who crossed their paths with the talent that flowed in their veins. Veins. Blood….life.
Now when I play…..every note becomes a needle. Every beat of music in time with my heart, pumping the life the resides within me into my hands, and into the ears and spirits of those who are listening. Every note I play drains me. It makes me ache. I die a little on the inside each time I create this gift. I cannot hide when I play. It is the most personal glimpse into my inner being that anyone will ever get.
I have a gift. A special one…..I can make others smile with the gift I have. I can give them a Moment. A Moment in which their world, and all its trials and hurts, fades, and I create a new one. Bright, filled with love and joy and peace. Things that make them remember and smile and laugh. Things that might make them shed a tear, but a happy one. A blessed one.
But though I do not know why, or how, or when, there came a moment when I played, and instead of music flowing, I saw blood. I watched as my heart bled into the strains from my soul and left my body, never to return. Those who heard were increased, while I found myself to be …..diminshed. I didn’t think anything of it, and life continued, but I have reached a place now where I look inside and I see that I only have so much of this life called music left inside, and it scares me. I don’t know where it’s gone. Every time I play it’s a sacrifice. I give of myself, so that others my live and be blessed, and as I saw last night, it has become more powerful than I ever could have imagined. Were I to give it everything I have again, I could change a lot…who knows how far it would go? But the cost….why even is there a cost? I don’t know the answer to this question, and that scares me too. My heart aches…it aches to play music, but I cannot just make noise. When I play something living comes out and takes shape, and the longer I play, and the more I give of who I am, and what I have been given, into what I play, the longer it, in turn, lives, and travels, and changes, and brings new life.
It is the most exhausting action I know how to perform.
I want to go back…go back to big puffy clouds and fuzzy kittens. Things that were easy and made sense. This doesn’t make sense. I have a gift to create, but that doesn’t mean I should have to die….does it? Or does it? I give of what I have been given. A gift of something from another place, for a purpose unseen by human eyes, to touch places that some don’t believe exist, and for now…for now, it takes more than I have to give.
I changed someones life last night. They won’t ever be the same, or look at me the same. They were dumbfounded.
It took less than five minutes.
I won’t forget either.
Why? How?
I don’t know.
The fire is gone. All that remains is the blood I was blessed to bleed. These are the drops. My heart strings. My gift to the world.

Who sees the human face correctly: the photographer, the mirror, or the painter?

—Pablo Picasso (via bl-ossomed)

The pillow.

(Source: s-stevens, via melizabethn)

It is/was that urgent but I will not write about it. Hope I’m here to tell you.

Not gonna make it through the night this time. 21 weeks 2 days

I’m sorry

pocketphyl:

aj—la:

sophienorthcott:

chlorinda:

potential-and-difference:

shmiling:

n0thingleftinside:

fuckyeahprisoninmates:

Robert Glenn, an inmate in the Special Housing Unit (SHU) at Corcoran State Prison in California killed two inmates while in prison. He believes these murders were justified because both men were convicted rapists, one of whom was accused of raping his sister from the age of 8 to 14.

I never thought I would admire a murder

Did you know that in most criminals frown upon rapists and molesters  If they find out that they raped or molested a woman they usually treat them terribly like beating them up, or making them die. Criminals don’t even accept that.

Absolutely true, because if you think about it they have families and perhaps kids. If they find out you’re a child molester they are going to hate you.

Sometimes when child molesters go to jail, even the guards are lied to about what the molester did to go there. They sometimes make up a false crime to protect the molester from serious injury.

Ain’t it fucked up that even hardened criminals realise rape is fucking wrong no matter what, but there are some government officials that cannot?

My dad works at Corcoran State 1. He’s told me a lot of molesters/rapists have to have their own yard sometimes so they aren’t shanked or get the shit beat out of them.

Rapists etc are all part of a segregated congregation in prison. My dad works at San Quentin and they are not allowed to mingle with the general population for their own safety.

(via pastelcrayolasandpatternedtights)

timelordparadise:

normanbecile:

merida-straighthair:

A wisp has appeared on your dash. Would you follow it to your fate?

Don’t you know those things lead you into the swamps and lead you to your death no thank you

I read wasp instead of wisp and thought no way I’m not following a wasp anywhere thank you very much I’m running in the opposite direction

*grabs flamethrower and bomb squad suit* did someone say wasp???????????????

timelordparadise:

normanbecile:

merida-straighthair:

A wisp has appeared on your dash. Would you follow it to your fate?

Don’t you know those things lead you into the swamps and lead you to your death no thank you

I read wasp instead of wisp and thought no way I’m not following a wasp anywhere thank you very much I’m running in the opposite direction

*grabs flamethrower and bomb squad suit* did someone say wasp???????????????

(via crystalmethandcats)